There are moments in one’s life when memories are sometimes better held onto rather than trying to revisit.

Four years of my childhood had been spent growing up in Melbourne and there were a few times my parents would treat us to a day at Ballarat. The day usually started early and our first visit was to the epic Kryal Castle and finished at Sovereign Hill. It was always an awesome experience and many incredible childhood memories were forged in those two attractions.

So, it seemed obvious when planning our trip that both those two venues were a MUST. I had raved about them to the kids and built them on pedestals that probably were a little too lofty but always hoping that they wouldn’t disappoint. After a successful trip to Sovereign Hill last Tuesday my expectations for Kryal Castle had now risen to larger-than-life proportions.

We had put it off last Sunday because we were all a little tired and reworking it back into the agenda wasn’t the easiest task – especially now that we were camped on the other side of Melbourne. However, I was sure that this was going to be one of our greatest memories and HAD to find a way to get there.

In a humorous way it succeeded in becoming one of our greatest memories – but for all the wrong reasons.

To be honest, Kryal Castle is bordering on THE most lame attraction that I have ever paid money to visit – a hot shower was better value. The dismally small number of cars parked in the carpark should have been a dead giveaway but I ignored the signs and justified the reasons as inconsequential. I even ignored Deb’s questionings prior to arriving here wanting to know why there were no tourist signs mentioning Kryal Castle. I now realise it’s because Victoria is just as disappointed as I was.

We entered the medieval castle expecting big things. We enquired after the timings of the sporadic performances remembering how wonderful these were when I was a child. There was no guarantee but we were promised that they usually happen once the crowd numbers grow. It didn’t take us long to realise that the possibility of this occurring was less than the chances of us getting our money back.

We persevered, still hopeful. We visited the Torture Chamber of Wax Models, the collection of Medieval Weapons and even the model ships seemed somehow related. Then it started getting a little weird. It was like they had lost their way somewhere along the track and the whole medieval theme had become a nuisance to them. Instead we found ourselves walking through old medical displays, the Itty-Bitty World Exhibition, Dolls from Around the World and some stuffed animals trying to understand their rationale for being.

I had one last card up my sleeve and told the kids how there was a glass-blower in the tower when I was last here. He would create these wonderful sculptures out of glass and this craft seemed a little more connected.

The first hint that my memories were about to be dashed again happened as we walked up to the towers and noticed a sign saying that the tower now held Sleeping Beauty and that you could buy your photographic print upstairs?? We traipsed upstairs, by this time not really expecting too much, and our hopes faded quicker than snow on a hot snakes head.

The tower was musty, showing signs of deterioration and unseemliness. At the top we were met by a ridiculous room with a bed in the centre. Lying in the bed was a mannequin/puppet type creature that resembled Dicky Nee – at best – and the room was covered in plastic flowers draped in dust and showing its age. To add insult to injury there was a rat above the four-poster bed rustling around and showed the only interactive part of the display.

By now I was almost crying, my childhood memories shattered. Any credibility I had for recommending attractions had all but flown south. We decided that we couldn’t spend another minute here and headed for the car noticing that a group that had come in after us were disappearing down the driveway at a great rate of knots. We realised we had spent less than an hour here yet it had cost only $30 less than Sovereign Hill.

We tried to salvage the day and opted to use the time to visit Bendigo as we weren’t sure we would come out this way again. On our way there Deb googled Kryal Castle and found that it had been passed in at an auction only a few weeks prior – information that would have been helpful to know before heading out here.

Nevertheless, the drive through Daylesford, Castlemaine and Creswick were delightful and we were surprised by Bendigo. We headed straight for the tourist bureau and seeing that it was now past two o’clock were left with limited options. Our best chance of seeing something here was to visit the Central Deborah Gold Mine with a tour starting at 2:30.

We made it with a few minutes to spare and joined the party heading 61m (almost 20 storeys) below the surface. The tour was fascinating as the guide shared some of the history of the mine when it was a going concern and even allowed Levi to try one of the pneumatic drills.

It was a great rescue for such a shattered day and our drive home consisted mainly of talk comparing the two attractions. We even considered how we could pimp Kryal Castle to make it more attractive. Getting rid of Itty-Bitty World was the first point of consensus.